Saturday, December 18, 2010


No Spoiler

I saw Tron last night.  I'll give it 5 stars.  Out of ten.

Let's start with the good and I will finish it up with the bad, well on second thought let's finish on a positive.  Don't want anyone going home crying.

It was a little long, not in actual time length, but action loaded up front and then it took a Disney nosedive into slow motion no plot.  The plot, what plot?  It was good vs evil lame, no twists, no turns.  Classic Disney. The only thing it had going for it was visual.  Visually it was stunning, but not 3D.  The 3D was nonexistent.  DON'T WASTE your money on 3D.  The credits had better effects then the actual movie. 

Don't believe the hype, but don't get me wrong either.  Visually, this movie was stunning, beautiful, worth seeing on the big screen.  It's only redeeming quality was the visual, albeit non-3D, but eye candy galore.

The plot was thin at best, but when it looks this good who needs plot?  Kind of like people.  There was a little world-domination Hitler going on, not sure what that was about.  Walt would not have been happy with that.  Anyway, I should not have expected much, you could tell they were trying to make a good movie, but missed the mark.  You can turn the mind off when you see this one, but just enjoy the pretty pictures.  Don't worry about getting lost in this film, just get lost in it visually.

Go see this movie if only to see it, and only see it in 3D if you absolutely have to.

Bite the Hand

I thank my lucky stars that we have some sort of cycling coverage on TV.  I know it was not always like this and to get the latest info you had to have a VeloNews handy or call a phone number to get the latest pre-recorded race results.  So, yes we are privileged in the access that we have to races the world over.  Not to mention the world wide web.  Our savior for all things cycling.  So, here is my open letter to Versus.

Dear Versus,

I have some ideas that might help your cycling coverage.

1.  We are already watching your station, we don't need to know about the up coming PBR (pro bull riding) (I thought it was a tasty beverage) event in slow motion.  Spandex does not mix with chaps -well not in this crowd.  Your commercials alone are enough to get me to STOP watching

2.  I will most likely never drive a Cadillac or buy Michelob Ultra.  Please for the love of all things holy sell me something I can and will use.  If we are in front of the TV and watching cycling, you can reasonably assume that we are cyclists.  Beer commercials are good, and you need more of them.  I know, I know you are limited to commercials that the sponsors are buying.

3.  Paul and Phil, love 'em.  They need a third person in the booth to keep them on track.

4.  On the same lines as Paul and Phil.  They are given a quota of how many times they can mention Lance outside of the actual action.  If Lance is somewhere at the back of the peloton, we don't need a camera on him and 5 mins of commentary.  If he is at the front, bridging, attacking, etc... fell free to give him some love.  Seriously if you are in love with Lance, let him know move to Vermont and do the deed.

5.  I want a Brian Holm and Rolg Aldag show.  Mic these guys up and put 50 cameras on them.  If you haven't seen Chasing Legends you won't know what I am talking about.  These guys are awesome.

6.  Jens Voigt.  Give us Jens.  Lots and lots of Jens, mic him up and put a tracker on him so we know what he is doing at all times.

7.  How about introducing America to other cyclists other than Lance?  There are some legends out there, that many people have never heard of.  Throw us a freakin' bone.

8.  How about some coverage on the other jerseys in a Grand Tour?  Yes, we know the leaders jersey and the Sprint, but show the battles for the KOM and the Youth.

9.  Show the start of the race, interview some riders, show how the break formed.  I mean really show it, you have plenty of time, a five sec clip of two guys going off the front does not cut it.  Show feed zones, show the intermediate sprints, same thing here 5sec is not enough.  Show the peloton with the teams getting their riders in position to start the sprint.

10.  And by all means send me a bottle of wine so I can enjoy it with your cheese.

Thank you for your considerations, I am available for a position to help you with your production.  We will also need to get the rights to every ProTour race.  I have watched your programming, and it is not like you can't make the room for a little cycling.  Whacked Out Sports???? are you kidding me?  With me on board we can do much better.  Seriously MMA, PBR, NHL and Cycling on the same network?  How much are you drinking and smoking when programing?

Glenn Duh

Friday, December 17, 2010

Oh Fence

Who is the "they" who makes things the way things are?  I'm talking about offending.  Saying something and someone gets bent out of shape because of what was said.  I think it is sad.  It is sad that we have become so soft and everything is fluff.  You put a hard edge on something and oh boy somebody is gonna get hurt.  Hurt little feelers.  Buck up little campers, life is not all soccer and soft-ball trophies.

If I say that something is gay, I'm not trying to offend, poke fun or demean people of a lifestyle choice.  I don't use the word as a derogative toward someones sexual preference.  It has taken on a meaning that has nothing to do with the original meaning or the substitute meaning that the word now signifies.  Gay in it's original form meant fun, happy, whimsical.  I don't use it for it's first intended usage, that would be gay.  See how I used it there?  And I did not use it as a sexual preference slang. 

Words change, language changes, people define words in their own and unique way.  Case and point, I spent some time in the '80s, and the word bad changed it's meaning.  Bad became good, it was an uber positive word and a little overused or abused.  I am guilty as charged.  Dude became a standard and I have not gotten rid of it in my day-to-day vocabulary.  I call everyone dude, and have even had full conversations with people only using the word.  Dude -look it up in the dictionary, and tell me we don't change words.

Now for my favorite offencive word that I cannot stop using.  Retard, and it's other form, Retarded.  Hang around me long enough and you will hear it, more than once.  I laughed so hard in the Hangover when Allen pronounces it RA-tard.  "Ha ha classic."   I am by no means using the word to be offencive to people who are handicapped, mentally challenged, developmentally challenged, challenged challenged, etc.  I know this word it the one with the least amount of grey area, and I use it with reckless abandon.

I feel that no matter how guarded we are with our choice of verbiage, we will offend someone.  It is inevitable.  Once again, I think people should harden up, speak your mind.  -Respect your fellow human.  Dude, I might be retarded if I call something gay.  Get your pannies unbunched, a clean bowl of Post Toasties and enjoy life 'cause it's BAD.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Soothes the Soul pt.1

I was asked if I could only listen to one song what would it be.  I don't know how to answer that question.  I love music (country music excluded).  I would have to pick something classical, no not Classic Rock -Classical as in"Real Music".  I don't listen to classical, one -we don't have a good station here in "short bus radio land", two -I like classical, but its hard to look this cool rocking out to Bach.  Not that you cannot rock out to Bach.  You can.

I am a Wagner man.  That is some heavy stuff.  If you are not familiar, think helicopter scene in Apocalypse Now.  Wagner's The Flying Dutchman, and Ride of the Valkyries would be on my shortlist of "the one song". Yes I know it is not a song it is a Opera, so there I kind of circumnavigated the "one song" by choosing an opera.

This brings me to an interesting dilemma...  Most influential albums in my life, or must own albums.  It is easy to throw down albums on a list and let, you the reader wonder what they mean to me.  If you own the album or know the music, you know what it represents in your life, but not mine.

Off the top of my head... Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon  -How can you not own this album?  Aside from the fact that Money is overplayed to death.  It is a great song, but enough already.  This album is meant to be listened to as one work.  Put it in, press play and enjoy you can't listen to it out of order and by all means do not listen to just one song.  It is truly a work of art.  Not to mention the "Dark Side of the Rainbow", but you can play Wizard of Oz with DSotM as the sound track.  I've never done it, but heard about it.    ?????

I found DSotM later in my musical growth, I did have The Wall, and was introduced to it by the movie in the early '80s.  Oh '80s music.  Got to love it.  I cut my teeth on the "hair-bands" and then the "velvet" movement.  I started skateboarding and as a rite of passage had to listen to "punk".  I did own a Michel Jackson album in there somewhere, but who didn't.  Cast the first stone.

Up Next...
Violent Femmes
Depeche Mode
The Cure
Joy Division/New Order

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Shades of Wichita

I'm walking down a tree covered street checking over my shoulder looking for the ladies to come screaming off of the brick into a left-hander to where I am standing.  Here they come, I unconsciously hold my breath as they hit the apex, not wanting anyone to hit the deck.  I have positioned myself here in case anyone meets the tarmac I can help get them righted and on their way.  I am also here to coach yell at the ladies to stay off the front and not give anyone a free ride.

The first thing I see are the black and white kits.  Damn, already working... "get off the front, make them work".   It falls on deaf ears, next time around same thing black and white on the front just in a different order "what are you doing? Get off the front!!!"  Rinse and repeat, we do this for several more laps, until another team attacks out of the corner and spreads the group.  "Cover that Michelle" I yell stating the obvious with Michelle out of the saddle easily chasing the two off the front with Julie and Gina in tow.

Next lap is just like the first, "get off the front!" my frustration coming to a boil.  Gina looks at me and gives me an evil grin.  Oh so that is how it is going to be, I'm done trying to "help".  I walk the course to the team's camp, and some of us head to the start/finish to watch the end of the race.  Black and white still on the front.  Bell lap and Michelle attacked so violently that the field looked to be in slow motion as she drilled it into the first corner.  By the time anyone reacted, she was 10meters up the road and gaping the field.  A field that was now just individuals chasing but gaining nothing.

It was a lifetime before we saw the group come around the corner out of the trees, no black and white.  Michelle was caught somewhere on the backside Gina and Julie followed the two chasers.  Michelle's damage was done, a grenade had gone off and fragged everyone in the field(almost everyone).  Final uphill turn into the finish and Gina attacked from fourth wheel gained the inside with Julie.  A perfect slingshot pass and Julie and Gina go 1 - 2.  "Shake n Bake Cal"

I am a fan of cycling.  Bike racing is tactics -a group of individuals all competing for one place.  If you have teammates you all have the same goal.  Win the race.  You will never race a teammate for First, you will race with a teammate for First.  If you are new to bike racing this is a hard concept to wrap your head around, and what I saw on a summer day in Wichita was beautiful...the sacrifice of a teammate to win a race.

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Will the real ....... please stand up?

Alex I'll take Team Tom's for 200....

I have friends on the team that are real characters that you cannot make up.  Truth is stranger than fiction, but in this case life is art and there is no imitation or artificial ingredients involved.  I am not going to use "real" names (to protect the guilty), and all people or persons can and should resemble actual people.  Please note that there were no animals harmed during the posting of this blog.

I ride bikes with a horse of a man, a draft horse that can run with the best of the thoroughbreds.  We will call him James.  I use draft horse, because James is all work.  It's not that he doesn't know better, he does.  He chooses to work.  There is no happiness greater than going to the front and working.  Working people over and pushing the pace all the way up to 11.  That's 11 on the volume, tell me that doesn't hurt. 

Pain is James' sidekick, he will bring him along wherever he goes.  Go on a recovery ride with James and he will introduce you.  James is very generous with his relationship with pain, he feels that everyone who he meets and rides or races with should meet his sidekick.  Comfortable is a word that is foreign to James and his friend, and they make sure that if you are around them that it is a word that you will never use as an adjective.

James is ADHD in the peloton, he can't just "sit in".  Sitting in is a death sentence, and weak.  Tactics be damned.  Full gas.  James has two speeds.  Drive the pace, and Attack.  Shelling half the field is a podium finish, seeing wrenched faces struggling is a joy.  Putting ones body in the red so that you can make other people suffer, is a job well done.

 James is an equal opportunity sadist, I've been personally "friendly fire" dropped by James not once -but several times.  If you get in a paceline with James, make sure he is not behind you.  James is magic.  He can make pacelines disappear.  If he is behind you in a paceline and when your turn is up, and you go to the back, it's gone. 
Vanished into thin air. 
You have just been dropped.

Monday, December 13, 2010


I am leaving in the morning to take a short road trip to go mtbing with a friend, and there is a slight buzz.  An electricity of knowing what is coming, but an uncertainty of the spontaneity of mtbing.  I don't define myself as a mtbiker, but I ride a mtbike, and I think about riding.  I think about riding all the time and when I am not thinking about riding my subconscious is. 

I rail perfect turns on the sides of overpasses.  I've launched swiss precision wheelie drops from the BOK tower over the Mayo and landed on SWBoulevard.  I weave in and out of a traffic rock gardens, drop into a grassy median for a little road-gap action over a semi-truck.  I gapped the turnpike at least 27 times on Tuesday on the way to the City.  I've ridden my bike on millions of miles on untracked, unridden, unmarked trails. 

I've replayed trails over and over again, just like your friend in middle school that wore out a tape playing the same song that they first made-out to.  (sorry kids, probably wont get that reference)  I've ridden on every continent, the Moon, and even Mars.  When I am on the bike I think about riding more, more than the body will allow. 

I've pushed the body just to get "that feeling".  Legs are tired, back and arms are on fire, but must keep peddling just to have fun.  The smart play would be to stop or slow down, but the little devil on the shoulder is screaming for me to pin it, and the other little devil on my other shoulder is yelling "pin it, Nancy. Is that all you got?".  So what are you gonna do?

The bike is clean, chain is oiled and the drive-train adjusted (thanks Shimano).  Tools and gear are not packed but readied, it's like a military operation.  Prepare for the worst, hope for the best.  Ride until you can't see straight, someone gets hurt, or you have equipment failure.  Roadtrips are conquests, you come home with your crew and you can't stop talking about what you just lived through.  That is LIVIN'.

Sunday, December 12, 2010

Brew Haus

Your two weeks are up, the specific gravity is perfect, right on the numbers.  Time to bottle.  Get out the sanitizer, bottles, capper, priming tank, ect, ect.  Home brew is work, but it is so much fun.  Exciting.  Don't forget...Rewarding. 

Bottling is fun.  Filling. Capping.  Putting the fruits of your labor into cases and then storing in a warm dark place.  Bottling also signals Job Done, all that there is left to do is wait, and then pop a top, pour, repeat. 

It is a simple process, once you have your beer fermented and you check the specific gravity, to see that fermentation is complete, you add sugar to the priming tank.  The sugar is a small amount that will activate the yeast again to produce CO2 to carbonate the beer.  This is what is known as "bottle conditioned".

I use 22oz bottles to cut back on a little of the labor, and since this is a pouring beer a 22 works out great.  I like to drink out of 12s, but pouring beers are nice in the 22s.  There is sediment in the bottom of bottle conditioned beers, and the constant tipping of the beer stirs up the sediment, so therefore pouring is cleaner.

Anyway, getting way to technical.  The Amber that I brewed is amazing (by my biased opinion) after all, all I did was follow directions, so I think I can say amazing and not be egotistical.  All patting oneself on the back aside I would like this beer even if I had no hand in it.  I like it so much I will be brewing it next, that is right after I get finished with my Honey Wheat.  That's right, got the kit in today along with a secondary fermenter.  So I will get the Amber in the mail and a week after I brew the Wheat I will transfer it to the secondary fermenter and brew the Amber and place it in the primary fermenter.  Bottle the Wheat and the Amber goes into the secondary.  Rinse and Repeat.

I think I might have a Brewing problem?  Hello, my name is Glenn Duh and I am a Brew-a-holic.