Saturday, September 17, 2011

Whats Love got to do...

Love is so overused, I am guilty as charged.  I love cheese, I love beer, I love bacon, I Really love bacon.  I love to ride bikes, I love mtb, I love road, and I hope to love cx.  Man, I'm a lover not a fighter.

-noun. tender, passionate affection
    strong personal liking
    person toward whom love is felt
-verb. to have love (for)

The Julie always says that she loves me, and I feel that it is a little much, I know she loves me because she puts up with me putting the ice cream in the refrigerator, leaving empty boxes in the pantry, and several idiosyncrasies, way too many to list.  Snoring.  I think that she should limit it to maybe every other phone call, I feel that just saying it, like an end to a conversation degrades the meaning.  I love my new shoes.  When I say I Love You -I mean it -when I say it.  I love lasagna.  The love that I have for my family and the love that I have for bacon is on two different planets, nowhere near the same ballpark.  I love you man.

Passion for things is easily expressed with the big L-word, but using it for strong personal liking drops it down a notch.  I love fall.  We like things strongly, but we don't love them.  If you love it why don't you marry it?  Really, I would need to become a Mormon and practice polygamy with all the loves in my life. I love tacos.

I love to ride bikes, is it the same love that I have for the Julie?  No, of course not, but is it the same love that I share for beer?  How about the love that I have for my new shirt?  No.  The passion level, if there is a level is very high for bikes, and the Julie would probably argue that it sometimes eclipses her stature on the Love list.  Sometimes I love the bike because it does not argue with me, or ask me to do the dishes.  OK, Really I do love the Julie, because I put up with her and her ability to put up with me.  I do have the better "deal", she puts up with a great deal of my crap.  I know this, and I love her for it.

I for the most part I will probably not be able to break myself of the habit of saying that I love things.  Saying that I like things strongly sounds a little on the stupid side of dialog, but maybe I can just LIKE things or I can  Really Like things.

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Perspective..or something like that

Someone always has it better than you, and someone always has it worse than you.  I'm a glass is half empty kind of guy, always looking for the negative.  Don't judge, it's easy to be on the team of the not so positive, it takes a true hardas$ to be positive even in the face of failure.  I am not.  Admittance is the first step, it's the second step -the one where you actually start the change is the hard part.  I don't see myself changing into a lollipop kid and seeing the good in everything anytime soon.

I have a good life, I do (not bragging) sometimes I just don't see the trees for the darn forest.  My job is trying my sanity, I swear that this job is going to kill my soul.  I don't love what I do, and it is just a means to and end.  It is a rare thing that one loves their vocation.  I'm just going through the motions as best I can.  What I'm really trying to say and to convince myself that I don't have it that bad.  In fact I have it pretty good in the grand scheme of things.  It could always be worse, Right?

Looking at ones life from a different set of eyes alters the view.  When life hands you a lemon say "what else you got?" and be glad you have a lemon, 'cause the guy next to you was just handed a pile of manure. 

I'm trying to break this absence of words, so I apologize for the nature of my writing and I hope that it does not bring you down, but helps you look at your situation from a different vantage point.  I figure, at this point, that writing anything is better than writing nothing at all.  This is a self induced therapy aimed to cure the brain to keyboard mandatory black out that has occurred.

Did you click on to read something about cycling?  I rode a bike today, Did you?  I was about to melt into the couch of oblivion when "The Julie" called and said she was coming home and wanted to go mtb.  Savior.  We rode in some light rain and chilly weather until we were on the trails up at Turkey.  I let Julie lead the ride and I shut off my mind and focused on her rear tire, so much so that at one point I was lost and had to look for landmarks to reorient myself.  Much needed.  I am so lacking in the motivation department, don't you dare call it burn-out.  It is not.  I love to ride and I need to ride like a junkie needs a fix.  There is a black hole of time right after work that if I cannot make it out, I will not do anything but dive deep into a vegetative state.  This has nothing to do with burn-out, I have the desire to ride, I just don't have the motivation to change clothes, fill bottles/camelbak, and go ride.  TV is just too easy, and beer is just too tasty.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Don't call it a comeback

Writer's block?  I don't think so?  I don't know what my problem is?  Issues?  Issues are supposed to be good fodder for writing, Right?  My issues are unequivocally boring, nothing that would merit prose or lyric.  Oh the days of boy meets girl boy looses girl.  Now, there is a goldmine in that, too bad it was like 20 some odd years ago. 

I have been on the bike, or should I say bikes?  About two weeks ago I dusted off the mtb and put some Stans in the tires to make it road mountain ready.  It is nice to be back out on the dirt, rocks and roots.  Roots, yeah that is where my cycling comes from, the fat side of the family.  Tires that is.  I've been rocking the off-road cycle since 1999, you do the math -I've been drinking.  So, now I find myself coming full-circle or semi-circle and taking the road bike to the dirt.  I've been misquoted as saying that I would never race Cyclocross.  I'm pretty sure that what I was trying to say was that I would never race cyclocross as a Pro.  Just needed to clear that up so as to avoid confusion when you see me struggling to mount and dismount.

Yes, I have a CX frame sitting in the shop waiting for brakes and a bottom bracket, and to be built.  Minor details.  I am going to pretend to race CX this season so that I can add yet another bike to the stable of bikes that I already own.  Pretty sneaky of me don't you think?  Very Very Sneaky. 

You have probably heard of "hold my beer and watch this"?  Well, I am going to race CX with a slightly different mantra... I will proudly be flying the flag of "Hand me a beer and watch this".  That's right anything worth doing, well or not well should involve the consumption of liquid courage.  Being my heritage is of the Germanic nature, I therefore should honor that heritage as best as possible.  I will be drinking ales, lagers, and stouts to name a few.  Oh, you thought with my background I would be invading and occupying countries, that comes later -but keep it on the DL.

Let the CX experiment begin. I highly encourage you to heckle at a race or at a practice, it is very cathartic experience and much appreciated.  Please, and I mean please be creative with your hurled insults, the crazier the better.  Imagination is a wonderful thing, use it. Keep the swears to a minimum when there are Clergy or children present.