motivation

I am struggling.  I have not been on the bike since the Thursday night trainer session, and before that a Monday torture session with James and Brown Bear.  The Holidays and weather have just not been helpful in getting me on a bike or doing anything.

I have spent quite a bit of time on the couch and have been giving the TV quite a workout.  I am logging hour after hour watching nothing.  I have a little issue with becoming sedate when it is cold and crappy outside.  Who likes to ride the rollers or trainer inside going no-where?  I don't, and I haven't.

I am having motivational issues.  I don't want to do anything.  I don't even want to write on the blog.  I haven't written or even felt like writing anything since Monday.  Could be I have nothing to say, well, when do I actually have anything to say?

What is motivation?  So I look up motivation, and it is defined as "the act of motivating".  Not much help there.  How about -"Desire to do, interest or drive" "incentive or inducement".  A little better.  Looking at what motivation means, I try to decide what "drives" me?  What is the crowbar that gets me off the computer, TV or couch?  I don't know?  I can't say that I know what force, what poster of a kitten, what image is my key to the shackles of my laziness.  It is a sheer act of violent nature that gets my body from the horizontal to the vertical plain.  Completely unexplainable, I can't tell you what makes me want to do what I do, I just do it.  -Sometimes I don't.

You've just been dropped

I rode with two of my favorite team riders today, both have similar styles.  If you consider bringing the pain style.  Brown Bear is a kid, I mean that in the best possible way.  He is all of 16 years of age.  With the way he brings the pain on a ride, some might call him a Punk, actually I do call him a punk.  If you find yourself on a ride sandwiched between James and Brown Bear, you had better have your big boy pants on. 

What was I thinking going on a ride with two of the team's cannibals?  I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, so bring the pain.  Mission accomplished.  Brown Bear and James put it down after our rendezvous at the skatepark out 21st.  Avery saw Brown Bear pushing the pace into the mid 20s.  I went up front for a pull and felt good, James rotated to the sharp-end and pushed it into the high 20s low 30s on the short piece of HW51.  Thanks for that.

There is something about riding with guys that are stronger than you.  It can crush you, eat you up and spit you out, or it can elevate you to a different level.  I generally find myself in the company of riders that bring hammers in their jersey pockets.  As the saying goes "sometimes you are the hammer, sometimes you are the nail" and if you happen to ride with James and Brown Bear and you are the hammer, you will probably get dropped.

Soothes the Soul pt. 2

Violent Femmes first album is a must own.  If we did not have digital this and download that, it would be one of the albums that I would save if my house were on fire, after I got the dogs out.  You get my point.  I was introduced to Violent Femmes on a Church ski trip many many moons ago, by Becca Johnson.  She was two years older than me, and at the ripe ol' age of 13 that is a continental divide.  All the guys in the youth group worshiped at the alter that was Becca.  I was 13 and a little behind the "girls don't have cooties" power curve.  Anyway Becca and I were "buds" as she put it, because I could ski.  I could ski up to her ability and none of the other kids could.

So I'm sitting on the church bus headed to New Mexico in search of the pow pow, Walkman plugged into the ears and a suitcase full of tapes.  That's right, if you grew up in the '80s you know what I speak of.  Walkman=tapeplayer and a suitcase full of cassette tapes.  Your tape box was your pride and joy, sometimes alphabetized, arranged by genre, or just a mess.  I preferred alphabetized, but not completely, just the a's together b's together and so on.  Didn't want to look to anal.  Becca sits down next to me and checks out my catalog, pops open my player and slips a tape into it, and presses play.

I was introduced to the Violent Femmes with the track Add it up.  I would love to reprint the lyrics, but it is better served up by listening than by reading, experience it for the first time with your ears.  If you are familiar with this song then imagine what it did to a Texas farmboy at the golden age of 13.  I think at the time I was into the hair bands of the '80s, but after this I had a revelation and a coming of age in my musical taste.  If only at such a young age I would have know what it all meant.  Oh, well can't cry over milk that was never spilt.

This album became the soundtrack for my relationship life in middle and high school.  It may be a few decades old, but boys and girls and songs about their relationships will never lose its relevance.  I would have to say that it is timeless, yet has a nostalgic quality for me.  If I still had a Walkman and some tapes I would pop in the 'Femmes and listen to Gordon and crew.

*Warning* there are some explicit lyrics on this album -don't say I didn't warn you