Can I get some cheese w/ that?

Stop reading now if you don't want to listen to me complain or make excuses for why make Dyson vacuums look weak.

I donated money so that I could pin a number on and go around in very painful circles last night, on a golf driving range no less.  No, people were not hitting balls at us, but thanks for asking.  I was not amused by the course last night.  I'm not saying it was a bad course, because it was not.  It was super long and really cool with all the little features.  It was just super hard being mostly flat with a ton of little elevation changes thrown in for extra crispy pain.  My legs ached and were shot, and at one point "trying" to get over the up-hill barriers I thought I was going to go into a full leg/body cramp.  In slow-motion of course.  And the wind...  I was all alone on the backside wallowing slowly, when I thought to myself "if I went any slower would I fall over or just go backwards".  Ok, so awesome course, just not for me.  I sucked it up just like that aforementioned Dyson.

The quote for me for the night: "I spent 38mins of a 40min race trying to come up with a good enough excuse to quit. Then I finished.  Amazingly still alive, hurting but alive."

That brings us to today's race.  What a ball-buster of a course, one of the most fun CX courses ever.  'Nuff said.  This course was so hard, almost 100' of climbing per 1.25mile lap.  Stairs, twists, turns, through the woods, a few rad downhills, a run-up *the king of run-ups*, and a fast tarmac section.  Oh, yeah it was even "pretty" with two ponds, woods and tons of landscaping.  Like I said it had everything.  Free beer and a porta-john on the course, yes right on the course -it was inside the tape.  On the Pain-O-meter this course was probably 55% harder than last night's course, but since it was fun to ride and because it was just so cool it hurt less.  Maybe?  Maybe it's the beer talking.

So here is the debate (talk amongst yourselves) because I liked the course today was I more apt to push myself further into the red -verses- not liking the course last night, therefor I wussed out?  Yesterday was a TT, and you all know I hate TT and don't do well at them.  Today was more of a Crit with climbs.  Don't forget the fact that I basically am weak when you talk this problem out at the water cooler on Monday.  Ok Go.

Big Legged Woman...

You know what I love about cycling?

Everything

What do you love about cycling, is it love or is it just a junior high crush, maybe you are just friends.  Does it encompass your day, hour, second, or is it your world?  Can you stop at any moment?  Is it a habit, a past time, or does it define you?  What does it mean to you, can you live without it?

I live cycling.  I can't begin to explain what a ride on a bicycle means to me.  The bike is a tool, a toy, but more importantly it is an extension of oneself.  I'm thinking about bikes right now, perfectly groomed single-track weaving in and out of Aspen trees.  I can't help it.  I'm an addict and there is no cure, and I'm not going to stop.  So, save your intervention for someone with a glue sniffing habit.  I'm good here move along.

I have had the privilege to ride with a lot of people, whether it be racing or just a bike trail stroll, people either "get it" or they don't.  The "it" is something that no amount of training, miles, wins, or time will be possible to attain.  There is no magic formula, no coaching, and no book will help you find the holy grail.  Just riding your bike helps, but that is not the answer.  The answer is Zen, it lies within. You, the bike, the cycling community. 

What is it that makes us slip on shoe covers, gloves, and long tights to go out and ride in freezing drizzle?  Do you do this because you have to?  Gotta get in the miles, coach said I have to do..., everyone else is doing it, or do we get out there because it is raw?  Man and machine vs Nature.  The base layer of the cycling lifestyle.  Pain.  We want it difficult.  Heck if it were easy everyone would do it, and why would you want to do something everyone else is doing?  That is just stupid.  Cycling is a dare unfulfilled, a self loathing one-up-yourself.  How can you truly feel if you do not know Pain?

I would dare say that most bike riders do not see the "beautiful" side of cycling.  Like I said before there is no map to find your way, but you will know it when you get there.  Cycling is a cold beer at the end of a salt crusted calf cramping town-sprint ride to the parking lot.  It is the nod of the head to a fellow in a different kit on the starting line.  It is the sweaty handshake or the pat on the back of the guy who just piped you at the line.  It is the thanks given for pulling across a titanic gap.  It is...

Got it bad?

I am starting to feel that without the bike I have no life.  When people talk about caffeine they say dependent rather than addicted.  So, using that logic I would say that I am bike dependent.  Addiction is a harsh word, so let's "church it up" and call it something more palatable. You know, that is what we do.  We put a "good face" on everything.  This is what I call the "PC effect" that came about in the late '80s and early '90s.  Let's be a kinder and gentler nation.  A nation of tolerance, that will not tolerate intolerance.  Politically Correct.  I think that Politically Correct sounds like and oxymoron, with heavy emphasis on moron.  I should care about your feelings more than my own.  Really?  But only when it meets a criteria set by the "whiny baby" society.  HTFU.  Being mean and telling the truth live on a fine line that should not be taken lightly, but come on people use your tiny t-rex brains and be real with each other.  Offence is offensive to me.  Free speech is not an open license to be an A-hole, grow some skin and learn to live life without crying foul.  Yeah, some people are just going to be on the wrong side of the "line" and some will never be able to tell the difference.

Yes, I have a little angst built up that needs to be flushed out of the soul.  I've got a fever, a fever for some bike riding.  Give me more bike.  Really people stop being so soft, soft minded and soft bodied.  If this downward spiral continues we will have no ass to kick, it will just be a humongous glob of fleshy waste.  Get out of the house and enjoy, fight for life, Live.

I'm pretty much feeling sorry for myself, because I can't ride my bike.  Boo whaaaa.  There could be like a million things worse out there, and here I am crying a river.  I am bike dependent, my life revolves around riding bikes.  At work I dream of riding my bike.  I see the world as either paved or off-road trails.  Driving around this little corner of the world selling coffee I see lots of places that I would love to ride my road bike, and I also see places that would make for some excellent single track.  I dream that I am riding my bike, and then I watch the clock to see when I will be home to ride my bike.  When you talk to me and it is not about bikes, I am thinking about bikes, or how I can work bikes into the current conversation.

The world for me revolves around bikes.  The Earth does not rotate about its axis, it is propelled by the action of cyclists pushing against it with pedal and crank.  I wear my cycling socks to work.  I drink recovery drinks to help hang-overs or when I am sick.  I check people for tan lines, shaved legs, and road rash scars.  Porn for me is bike catalogs, and pictures from Interbike, thank you highspeed interweb.  I will break my neck looking at every bike that I pass just to see what kind it is, it does not matter if it is a kid or a homeless person riding.

I am bike dependent, admittance is the first step. 

Right?

Screw it.

I am helpless.