How do you do?

Whenever I tell someone that I raced my bike last weekend they always ask "how did you do?", and this means "how did you place?"  I hate answering this question even when I did/placed well, because I always feel that I must explain why I did not win the race.  This will come as a shock to most people, but I don't race to win.  I know, I know.  Really, I would deep down like to win a race, but that is not what motivates me to toe the line.  Believe it or not I just like to ride bikes, and being in a race/part of the race is where it is at for me.  The thrill is the race itself, not the outcome.

Cycling is pageantry.  Man/machine vs Man/machine vs Nature.  This spectacle is a form of beauty and of brutality.  It is a pure form of locomotion that requires the human body to act as the force.  On the surface it is stunning but underlying this beauty is a viciousness that is rarely seen.  One does however get a glimpse of the rawness of the sport when kits are torn exposing road abused flesh, when competitors come together and bikes are broken.  The carnage that goes unseen is pain.  Pain inflicted.  Pain consumed.  We survive anguish and try to punish our fellow cyclists to suffer as much or more.

Why do I do this?  Is this fun?  This is about being part of something that is bigger than me.  Rolling along in a peloton I am part of a living breathing wheeled organism that is trying to explode at any moment, but yet staying together for singular preservation.  I do this because it is bigger than me, because of the bonds I form with total like minded strangers, because I can be a cycling god every time I throw a leg over a saddle.  Am I a cycling god, No...but do I feel like a cycling god?  Yes. 

So, how did I do last weekend in the race?  I didn't win.  I did however become part of something beautiful yet painful and have memories that in my mind... priceless.  In conversation on the road back from the race: "I'm gonna ride my bike really fast".