Saturday, December 25, 2010

motivation

I am struggling.  I have not been on the bike since the Thursday night trainer session, and before that a Monday torture session with James and Brown Bear.  The Holidays and weather have just not been helpful in getting me on a bike or doing anything.

I have spent quite a bit of time on the couch and have been giving the TV quite a workout.  I am logging hour after hour watching nothing.  I have a little issue with becoming sedate when it is cold and crappy outside.  Who likes to ride the rollers or trainer inside going no-where?  I don't, and I haven't.

I am having motivational issues.  I don't want to do anything.  I don't even want to write on the blog.  I haven't written or even felt like writing anything since Monday.  Could be I have nothing to say, well, when do I actually have anything to say?

What is motivation?  So I look up motivation, and it is defined as "the act of motivating".  Not much help there.  How about -"Desire to do, interest or drive" "incentive or inducement".  A little better.  Looking at what motivation means, I try to decide what "drives" me?  What is the crowbar that gets me off the computer, TV or couch?  I don't know?  I can't say that I know what force, what poster of a kitten, what image is my key to the shackles of my laziness.  It is a sheer act of violent nature that gets my body from the horizontal to the vertical plain.  Completely unexplainable, I can't tell you what makes me want to do what I do, I just do it.  -Sometimes I don't.

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