Midnight oil

This will be an interesting read.

I'm up late, the kind of late where you get out of bed because your body doesn't want to be in any position you put it in, out of bed.  I don't know what my deal is.  So with my mind racing, dreaming -no sleeping dreaming, I got up to exorcise the sleep depriving demons.  How does this work?  I'm tired, but physically I cannot get comfortable enough to sleep and then the brain powers up and starts going all ape poo.  Should I go all crazy and start writing just whatever is in my head?  Should I go cathartic and work the inner peace table talks with my soul?  If I were really good I could do both and we would all have a Merry Christmas.  Whatever.

Lets try this... The other day someone close to me dropped a bomb on me, no, no one came out of the closet.  Someone that I value their opinion straight up told me that they were embarrassed of me.  I was a little taken a back, or should we say, dumbfounded?  Anyway, that's not the big thing, the big thing is, is that it got me to thinking.  (insert thinking joke here)  Nice one.  Yes, Mike I do think.  I really started to think about my life and how I got to this point.  Most of you know that I recently started work at a bike shop, to be a bike mechanic and to sell bikes.  This has been a, let's say dream since I started riding bikes.  I can honestly say I am livin' it.  The dream that is.

What I really started thinking about was how I feel, and I have come to the conclusion that, I am me.  At this point in time I truly feel that I am as real as I can get.  This is who I am, this is what I am.  I am happy, and I am really enjoying life.  I have always believed that you are not what you do, your job does not define who you are.    Here is the problem with that logic, what if you love what you do?  What if what you do helps define who you are?  I'm talking about it being a real piece to the puzzle that makes you who you are, not a means to an end. 

I have a close friend that worries that he does not make a difference in people's lives.  He does, he is a life changer, he just can't see the forest because of all the dang trees in his way.  He helps people on a daily basis, yet feels that he is not doing enough.  Why?  Because he really cares about what he does, but what he does, does not define who he is.  His caring nature is his definition, this is the person who he really is.   I know this because I don't see him on a professional level, I see him as the caring husband, father, and friend.

I will never have the impact on people's lives as say a religious leader, a doctor, or a teacher, but I do feel that where I am right now in life is where I am supposed to be.  If I can sell a bike to someone or inspire someone to ride a bike to gain fitness -that is my impact.  I want people to know the pure joy and freedom that a bike can bring.  You know, the kind you had when you were a kid.  The feeling of flying. 

It's just like riding a bike.  No.  The only thing that is just like riding a bike...is riding a bike.