What do you want?

I have recently found myself in a recession, not unlike the one the world economy has found itself mired.  A little background info on my situation:  I am a horrible money manager, if I have it I spend it, if I don't have it I spend it.  The latter is not a good combo I hear, I hear from my wife all the time.  I try, but I have a problem similar to drinking or drugs or sex or food or yes please!  OK, enough time on the couch talking about my problems.  I, like many of you, am a consumer, I want I want and then again I want.  I want so much that they eventually become need.  ADDICTION -when your wants become needs.  I no longer want I need, Give it to me yesterday.  When FedEx comes up with time-travel shipping I'm in, I'll pay for it.

Bikes are an obsession, which is a fancied-up word for addiction.  I subscribe to the n+1 theory, whereas n is equal to the number of bikes owned.  So no matter how many owned you always need +1.  I recently +1ed with the addition of a new Cross bike, everyone was doing it.  So, I needed to do it.  (see what I did there NEEDED, not wanted)  I did not want to be left out of the cool kid group.  So, here is where the train comes off the tracks.  I had the money for the +1, but in my money spending stupor, I failed to recognize that I did not have the funds to race, drink man sodas, sushi happy-hour, more man sodas, frozen pizza, brewing man sodas, and everything else not related to the +1 or everything related to the +1.

I am a consumer, I consume.  I am not a generator, I am not an earner.

I am in the process of a mid-life transitional period.  A big part of me just wants to "walk the Earth".  I realize that something has to change so that I can do the things that I want to do, but yet still fulfill the need to do.  I have been adding up the need column and it is pretty small compared to the ginormous want column.  What is important to me and what is necessary are so far from each other that I have a lot of work ahead of me to get things right.

Right now what I really want, is to go ride a bike.  Or, do I need to go ride a bike?