What? Me? .....NO!

This has all been said before, so you can stop reading right now.  No, really you can stop... because I have said it once, twice, three times a lady.  This thing, this tool, this toy that has many names.  The bi-wheeled contraption.  What ever it is to you, it is a very important part of my life.  I rediscovered the bicycle 14 years ago this month.  The snow was melting on the Wasatch and I heard of a Texan that was racing bikes in a place called Tour de, or something like that.  I swore off spandex and decided that the fat tires were just the thing for me.  I loved to snowboard on the mountains, might as well put some rubber down on them.

Fast forward a few years and the bike moved with me to the no-mountains of Oklahoma. I was a big time mountain biker from Utah, what could I possibly learn in OK?  Everything.  I sacrificed blood and flesh to the "mountain" that we call Turkey.  Humble pie is not a tasty thing.  I was schooled every time knobby touched rock and root.  Don't get me wrong, I am not what I would consider a "good" rider, but I do have fun and I acquired the skills to do what makes me happy.  In my book that is all that maters, anything else and you are way to serious.  Have fun.

The problem with addiction is that you reach a point and you have to have more, and once you get more, you need more.  And the cycle continues.  [no pun]  [ok, maybe just a little]  I was bummed on the days that it was too wet to ride Turkey and I did not want to ride my mtb on the road.  So.  Naturally I bought a road bike.  Still swore off spandex. Then a funny thing happened. Tulsa Tough.  I was already a cycling fan, thanks to Lance, but now I had the chance to see it up close.  Close enough to feel the wind of the draft blow by like a gust front.  The sound of freewheels on a downhill, the shifting of gears transmitting through a carbon wheel, the zip of hundreds of chains being turned in anger...

I was hooked, even more so than before.  Addiction turns into obsession turns into a lifestyle.  Admittance is the first step?  I'm a sick junkie.  Get the Thorazine, find a nice "hug yourself jacket", padded cell for one -please.  I look at porn on the internet, yes I will admit it.  I go to sites like Colnago.com Cicli Pinarello Dedacciai Ridley etc etc etc.  What can I say, I have a problem, and I like Italian sexiness and Belgian prowess.  It does pain me so that I do not own a Campy groupo.  Oh, to have Italian sexiness firmly in my grasp, with a freehub that speaks "bedroom".  Someday.

This is only a few steps above shooting heroin or snorting lines.  Eat, sleep, dream.  Bikes.  I don't have room in my life for anyone who does not think the same way.  I surround myself with junkies, I try and convert "regular" people into cycling.  If you are crazy and you can get more people to think and act the way you do, the less crazy you look.  It's a cult, want to join? Would you like some cool-aid?

Water Carrier

I can't tell you how much I hate reading cyclist's blogs about how they did in their last race.  I mean seriously post some pictures of yourself and tell all of us how much you love you.  I'm tired of just the total self love out there, and really, if you are gonna write about you, you might as well tell the truth.  What happens in races and what gets transformed into words seems to take a transformation that just does not seem to equal the sum of the parts.  I'm not throwing stones at anyone in particular, I'm just being general.  Truth in journalism, I mean blogs.

With that being said... I raced this race the other day, and I was so awesome I was asked on the spot to become PRO and race in Europe.  Just like that.  True story.  Then I woke up realized I had been asleep and decided to make some coffee and breakfast.  I did race a race the other day for the first time in, a long time.  It was a un-retirement ,it's not that I retired -I just have not had the time or money.  Wait for it, it is coming... the point to this.  Don't skip ahead and spoil the ending.  You silly monkey.

Can't tell you how good it felt to turn blood into acid, lungs into barbed wire, and legs into cement.  I love that feeling of turning ones-self inside out, because one can.  It is not a self-loathing torment, but rather a rendering of ones soul on a physical level that has the power to heal.  The true feeling of goodness is when you do this with people you share a common bond, or a common jersey and bibs.  I'm talking about my teammates.  Teammates that work and suffer together for a common purpose.  Selfless teammates that know, that understand what they need to do to accomplish greatness.

Cycling is not a stick and ball sport.  Cycling is about teammates working together so that only one can claim victory.  Yes, there is only one First Place, and there can be only one winner.  Why would you enter a race and not try and win?  Who does this?  That is just so stupid not to try and win every time you toe the line.  I feel that there is no explanation as to why I would work rather than win, but it is an argument waiting to happen.  Eddy Merckx once said that a Belgian child knows more about cycling than the United States does collectively.  There is some truth to that.  There are Stars and there are Water carriers.  The true power lies in knowing which one you are.

I'm gonna flip it on you this time... in life you need to know for what or who you are working.  Going for the Win might mean different things to different people.  Knowing your station in life and doing that job to the best of your ability is true LIVIN'.  You are not what you do...

 "you are not the contents of your wallet." -Tyler  FC

Box of chocolates

Life is like riding a bike -sometimes there is work involved, sometimes you have a tailwind and you feel like a god.

I've been getting worked over right now, but I feel that there is a turn coming up and this crosswind is going to become into a tailwind.

I'm not feeling entitled, I'm just a romantic and I have hope.  What is life without a little hardship every now and then?  You have to have hills valleys, mountains canyons, or it is just flat.  There is nothing to see when it is flat. 

Here is to Livin, no matter if you are up or down, it is not always about where you are going but how you get there.

Devil is in the details

I've looked at "details" and there is no "v" in details so how do you get the devil?  Do you trade the "a" and "t" and throw in the "s" for good measure?  I think there is something to the saying, but making sure you get the small steps done in a process is the devil.  If something is worth doing, do it right.  The right way.  Enough, about that.  I think the Devil is in the Drink.  Lately my life has been crazy and turned all kinds of sideways, not upside down like everyone says.  But, Sideways.  Like any good red-blooded male I like to self-medicate and hyphenate.

Details, details, details.  You drink enough and you will find the devil, he might not be in the bottom of the first or last bottle, but he is in there waiting to come out and infest your soul.  Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to demonize alcohol, it is, on it's own a beautiful thing.  It's when one is not a professional in prescribing the right dosage that one will succumb the the wily powers that are inherent to the bowels of Hades.  The problem lies in the fact that the proper prescribed amount changes due to the ailment.  This becomes a problem when you reach the Over rather than the Under.

So, in my finite wisdom, I being of unsound mind am going to try sobriety.  If only for a couple of days, just to see if the world in which I am living in currently looks any different from the outside looking in, rather than from the inside (of a bottle) looking out. What does this have to do with cycling?  I'm working on that as I type and hypothesize, and to be honest it's not going well.  So I am going to keep this up until something hits me and I can try and tie this all together, or I could just leave it up in the air and just leave you with a hypothetical.

Yeah, I've got nothing.  I guess what I should come away with this, is -make the best of the situation that I am in and not eff   mess it up by going crazy.  Like getting too much rope to play with and accidentally hanging myself.  Here you go... It's like a descent that is supper fast and twisty, one that you have never been on, you want to let it out, but you don't know what is around the next curve.  Sometimes you have to apply a little brake just before the apex, but not too much or you are on the ground losing flesh at 30+mph, don't slow down and the consequences are worse, once you see the other side you can get back on it an apply some power.  My advice to myself it to take it one twisty tight curve at a time and see where this takes me.  If you are not careful the Devil could be in that corner waiting like a oil-slick or a patch of gravel.  If it wasn't for the twisty downhills the uphills would not be worth climbing.

National Bike Month

It's National Bike Month.

  Wow, we get a month?  I had no clue.  Next week is bike to work week, or something like that.  If it gets someone out there to bike to work and it sticks -great.  Since joining the shop, I have been trying to ride my bike as much as possible.  I'm not trying to save the world from global warming, I'm not a crusader.  Bikes are fun to ride.  It might take a few mins more out of your day to get to work, unless you have a huge commute -in that case you should live closer to work.  Plus, like I said before bikes are fun.  Do something fun first thing in the morning and you are bound to start your day off on the right pedal stroke.
I will say it again, Bikes are toys.  Yes, they can be used for transportation, but they are fun.  It feels good to ride a bike, and things that feel good put a smile on your face.  Driving in a car behind some idiot doing something stupid driving behind another idiot doing something stupider, puts you in a bad mood.  This is why your work sucks so much.

Of course you could say, "But Glenn Duh, what if you drove a really cool car?"  Yeah, that would make your driving experience so much better, yeah and what if you were the only car on the road, and you could drive as fast as you wanted?  And, and, and... get real you don't own an exotic and your commute is not the Twin Ring. BUT if it were, you might have the same experience as riding a bike to work.

Lastly, I know some of you just can't possibly commute because of our wonderful public transportation infrastructure, or the fact that your employer does not facilitate a cycling commute.  Alas, it is not a perfect world, if it were it would resemble a Willy Wonka-esk Cycling world.  Perfect roads, with the perfect grades for climbs, cambered turns, everything tree covered, domestiques to fetch water, rain that doesn't soak your socks, feed zones for a snack, cafes in all the right places.  Wake up, your late for work, and it is not a perfect cycling world.

Get out on a bike and make the best of what you have.  Be safe if you are going to tangle with the auto-crazies.  Momma always said "it is better to be wrong than to be Dead Right".

Cheers Al

Seems like I am always getting on here and apologizing for not writing.  I really am sorry that I don't write more, or have something to say.  As if I have something to say in the first place.  This finds me at a pretty strange place in my life right now, and with everything going on I should have a ton to write about, which scares me a little.  Because, I might be internalizing and that would make me a ticking time bomb.  Boom!  Boom is not good when dealing with a stockpile of emotional dynamite.

Anyway thanks for commenting and goading me into tapping at the keys and making some words, if they work together or not they are here for you to read.  Thank you Oprah, Tom Cruise, and the Jewish God for giving me my bikes to ride.  If it were not for putting on miles and riding with good people, I would be a wreck.  Oh, and an honorable mention goes to Al Cohol, he and I have become good friends -maybe too good?  We have always been good friends, but he is around a lot more these days.

I really would like to go on a rant for about 5k worth of words about ambition, money, and relationships, but I just don't have it in me right now.  Plus, I have to be at work in 45mins, so you are just going to have to deal with the complaining in short form this morning.  Maybe one of these evenings when I get home before the morning I will crank up the netbook and blast out some drunken rants.  Yeah, that will be fun and I won't look too much like an arse, right?

Short sweet, and super vague.  Stay tuned it might be another week or it could be a few hours that you hear from me.

Broken Frame

Ok, ok ok ok ok.  My four readers, I'm up to four! Have spoken and want something to get them through the morning water-cooler talk, meeting, or bathroom break.  I do appreciate the shouts on twitter last night -I do listen.  Things have been going crazy here at the Belllap press/brewing/riding.  Work is going strong and I am learning everyday, and I love the people that come through our doors.  People who ride bikes and the ones that are going to ride bikes are special people, some more "special" than others.  

In other news, I've been riding my bike a lot, a lot for me.  I was on a relaxing recovery ride with a friend and hit a tree.  No, I was not mountain biking.  No, I was not drinking.  No, I was not paying attention.  Yes, I was wearing my helmet.  The next time someone says "It's only RiverParks" I will give them a punch in the face.  Yes it is only RiverParks and you probably don't ride that fast, I wasn't (15mph), but your head doesn't care to much about speed.  Unless you are talking about 9.8m per second squared.  This is the speed at which your head will contact the ground just by the force of gravity.  Eat it!  It's gonna hurt if you hit your head.  Wear your helmet.  You can style your hair, you can't fix your brain. 

Broken helmet, Broken frame, pretty messed up back, but I'm alive and not in a wheelchair or in a vegetative state.  Is that like New Jersey?  They are the Garden state.  I wake up sore and pretty immobile and old.  I'm getting a new frame which I will piece and part together for the next ten years.  Helmet is going to be replaced with a shiny new model coming out in July.  I do have a back-up helmet, no way would I be riding without.

One of the guys I ride with is in the Specialized/Strava hill climbing challenge.  If you don't know who this guy is, take the time to do some research.  And.  If you think you know who this guy is take a second look at what he is doing in the challenge.  It changes daily -it is a competition after all.  So I am not going to post where he is in the challenge, but I will say that he is a solid top ten.  Overall, not age group, Overall.  Oklahoma is flat, and he is trading face-punches with guys from Utah (not flat) and other mountainous regions of the world.  The challenge comes to a close next Monday the 30th.  He and I are headed to AR for some new scenery and to climb Gaylor.

Side note:  Dennis (we will call him Dennis) was how do you say "bigger" than he is currently.  I have seen this guy go through jersey sizes in a weeks time.  His climbing accomplishment is great and pretty awesome, but it is nothing like the physical transformation that he has done to his body.  I feel privileged to have been a part witnessed cycling change someone.  You always hear stories about this happening, but until you have seen a transformation first hand it is just a story.  To make this "real", we are having a super informal no-reservations get-to-gather at the BlueRose Monday the 30th after MNR, 7:30ish to whenever, and possibly beyond that.  Take Tuesday off because your head will be pounding.  Come out and celebrate Dennis, but more importantly celebrate cycling and what it can do for people's lives, you might meet someone who is totally different from you -but thinks just like you do.