The Thankful Cyclist

I am thankful for...

Eddy Merckx for being Eddy Merckx

Tullio Campagnolo for quick release skewers, and the derailleur


Johan Museeuw for being the Lion of Flanders

Gino Bartali for battling Coppi and creating what we know as epic

Bernard Hinault for being the Badger and his rivalry with LeMond

Laurent Fignon for being the Professor and elevating the sport

Greg LeMond for getting back on the bike after getting shot -and winning

Jacques Anquetil first to count to five using his Tour victories

Miguel Indurain for five straight

La Madonna del Ghisallo for her protection

Jens Voigt for showing us the art of the breakaway and being 10 x harder than diamonds

Andy Hampsten for his being a bdass climber and winning on le Alpe D'Huez

Mario Cipollini for more style than any human is capable

Stuart O'Grady HTFU

*all photos poached off the interweb sorry for not crediting*

Being Thankful

Many moons ago when I was a wee lad we made turkeys out of a tracing of our hand.  Dressed up an outline of a Pilgrim with a big hat and buckles on his shoes.  We put feathers on a native American (formerly known as Indian).  We learned how thankful and sharing everyone was back in the day, and then we had time off to eat turkey with our families.  We got to travel to relatives who would say "the last time I saw you, you were this tall".  Ok, so now that I am not such a wee lad, we know that Columbus was not a Pilgrim, extorted money from the Spanish for a boat ride -because he was just a crazy drunk sailor.  He most likely did not even set foot in what we consider the good ole USofA.  Vikings, not the ones from Minnesota, probably discovered this here place, but just did not like being away from home -so they left.  Of course the "Indians" (native Americans) were already here and had been for sometime.  They just did things differently, so we took over.  We all know that the aliens were here long ago -saw it on the History channel, has to be true.


As Robert said "Ramble On".  I am not sure any of us can be certain what or how Thanksgiving came about, nor do we really care.  Turns out that thanksgiving is a time of rest and nourishment for the upcoming battle to be waged on the following Black Friday.  We all watch TV, eat and store up as many calories humanly possible and try to rest and relax.  We know the following day that we will not have time to eat for fear of missing that big deal, we will need our strength to fight for a parking space.  We need our rest to make that midnight opening, or if you are weak that 4 o'clock doorbuster.  [yes, spellchecker doorbuster is a word, take your little red squiggly line and shove it] 

That's right Col. Kurtz "The horror...the horror".  What have we done?  What have we done with our time of thanksgiving?  Black Friday is turning into a black hole and it is going to suck Thanksgiving down with it.  Say no, spend your time wisely, do something you like to do...if it happens to be shopping then good on ya.  Seriously spend your time like it is all you have.  Time. 

Be thankful for what you are thankful for.  What does that mean?  It means stop taking everything for granted, like life is owed to you.  It is not.  Life is not owed, life is given.  Like a present, take it and be thankful for it, be thankful for every moment that you draw breath.  The good book says that "life is but a vapor".  It is here today and gone tomorrow.  No matter where you are in your life you have something to be thankful.  I like to talk about perspective, and this is where perspective comes into play. 

The Real Voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes but in having NEW EYES ~Mary Engelbreit

To be cheesy I would like to list all the things that I am Thankful, but I will spare you.  I am very thankful and I will try not to take life for granted.  After reading this think of something that you consider insignificant and be thankful for it in your life.

I'm thankful that one of you read this...

Pulling the trigger

It was just a short while ago that I was forced into a life altering career move.  Seems like forever, but it really has not been that long.  April.  I guess it is a long time if you are stuck on a desert island.  Not to be confused with deserted island which might not be a bad thing.  Now desert island sounds like it might not be very fun.  Dessert island sounds like a good ole time to me, 450lbs later.  Time is as time does.  The time for me is now, at least it feels like the time is now.  Crape Diem, Right?  Seize the day?  Life is too short not to take a risk or two.  Life is wasted when dreams become regrets.  Yes, I am trying to squeeze as many cliches into this paragraph before I become nauseous.  Ok I'm done.

I have been given the opportunity to do something I have always wanted.  I have been handed the keys to a lifestyle that I was born for.  It is not without it's drawbacks, but the Pro's column outweighs the Con's.  In my opinion, yeah but what do I know?  I know what I like, and I am going to do what I like because I am a spoiled brat.  There I said it.  Life should be an adventure, and adventure is not safe, so therefor I chose to not be safe (really kids you should wear your helmets) in life.  I can't stop writing cheesy lines tonight, don't know what my problem is?  Oh well, probably should stop while I still have my two readers out there.

Anyway the whole idea was to "blog" about what is going on and what is in store for my future, and quite possibly your future if you happen to ride bikes in the Greater Tulsa area.  Is your interest peaked?  Most of you probably know what my new endeavor is going to be, but some of you may not know.  So, stay tuned to this here interweb of knowledge, follow me on twitter, and if you must hit me up on the fb.  If you have not guessed, it involves me (no kidding) and bikes (double no kidding).  How cool is that?  If you like bikes and you can tolerate me you just might get to see me in person -professionally speaking of course!

I'm too sexy...

When I say "style" what comes to mind?

Fashion right? 

Maybe, but I think of style as the aspect of how one carries oneself in life.  It is how you live, how you handle yourself.  There are many styles of life and livin' but it is sometimes easy to pigeonhole people into categories, doing this is the absence of style.  True style has no name no label.  I am writing this thinking of my "Style role models".  No! I don't look to the magazines for my input, I look to the people in my life who make me who/what I am.  Real people, and I mean Real, not just flesh and blood, but Real.  And if I must define Real for you then just stop reading now.  I have a hammer for you, just send a S.A.S.E. to the belllap.

I can't help but think of Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club while writing.  Style is deeper than what we see on the surface, "you are not your job, you are not the contents of your wallet, you are not your f______ khakis".  I'm going to point fingers now, but there are so many people who live their jobs, cars, houses, and contents of their wallets.  They may be "high fashion" but they are low on style.  Get real, be real.  "Is that what a real man looks like?"  This is of course my opinion and not a guide to live your life.

Here it comes, the point in the program where I tie this into riding bikes.  Cycling is Vogue.  It is "high fashion".  We are all guilty and should go to the Madonna del Ghisallo and ask for forgiveness.  We judge.  We berate.  We ostracize.  We are as bad as an Opra book club.  "Did you see his bartape?  It didn't match his saddle!"  No, but really?  This is not the point that I want to make, although it is a big part of what we do.  Style on the bike and off the bike relates to life.  Art imitates life and life imitates Art.  How one handles oneself on the bike is a true reflection of the person, even during the heat of battle in a race. 

The bike is a window into ones soul.  It has the ability to strip one down to their core no matter the ability or status.  The butcher, baker, and candlestick maker can all ride side-by-side with the doctor, lawyer and accountant.  Ones style is dictated by who you are on the bike, how you handle yourself on the bike, and how you treat your fellow cyclists.  Style is a lost Art, but it is not dead.  You can't buy it, but you can earn it and learn it.  Next group ride you are on, look for the style.  It will be there, it has always been there, style is timeless.

My goal in cycling is not to win races, but to bare the torch for future generations to follow.  I would like to thank my Roll Models that are Real.  I hope to one day turn the crank with 1/2 as much style as you.

Can I get some cheese w/ that?

Stop reading now if you don't want to listen to me complain or make excuses for why make Dyson vacuums look weak.

I donated money so that I could pin a number on and go around in very painful circles last night, on a golf driving range no less.  No, people were not hitting balls at us, but thanks for asking.  I was not amused by the course last night.  I'm not saying it was a bad course, because it was not.  It was super long and really cool with all the little features.  It was just super hard being mostly flat with a ton of little elevation changes thrown in for extra crispy pain.  My legs ached and were shot, and at one point "trying" to get over the up-hill barriers I thought I was going to go into a full leg/body cramp.  In slow-motion of course.  And the wind...  I was all alone on the backside wallowing slowly, when I thought to myself "if I went any slower would I fall over or just go backwards".  Ok, so awesome course, just not for me.  I sucked it up just like that aforementioned Dyson.

The quote for me for the night: "I spent 38mins of a 40min race trying to come up with a good enough excuse to quit. Then I finished.  Amazingly still alive, hurting but alive."

That brings us to today's race.  What a ball-buster of a course, one of the most fun CX courses ever.  'Nuff said.  This course was so hard, almost 100' of climbing per 1.25mile lap.  Stairs, twists, turns, through the woods, a few rad downhills, a run-up *the king of run-ups*, and a fast tarmac section.  Oh, yeah it was even "pretty" with two ponds, woods and tons of landscaping.  Like I said it had everything.  Free beer and a porta-john on the course, yes right on the course -it was inside the tape.  On the Pain-O-meter this course was probably 55% harder than last night's course, but since it was fun to ride and because it was just so cool it hurt less.  Maybe?  Maybe it's the beer talking.

So here is the debate (talk amongst yourselves) because I liked the course today was I more apt to push myself further into the red -verses- not liking the course last night, therefor I wussed out?  Yesterday was a TT, and you all know I hate TT and don't do well at them.  Today was more of a Crit with climbs.  Don't forget the fact that I basically am weak when you talk this problem out at the water cooler on Monday.  Ok Go.

Big Legged Woman...

You know what I love about cycling?

Everything

What do you love about cycling, is it love or is it just a junior high crush, maybe you are just friends.  Does it encompass your day, hour, second, or is it your world?  Can you stop at any moment?  Is it a habit, a past time, or does it define you?  What does it mean to you, can you live without it?

I live cycling.  I can't begin to explain what a ride on a bicycle means to me.  The bike is a tool, a toy, but more importantly it is an extension of oneself.  I'm thinking about bikes right now, perfectly groomed single-track weaving in and out of Aspen trees.  I can't help it.  I'm an addict and there is no cure, and I'm not going to stop.  So, save your intervention for someone with a glue sniffing habit.  I'm good here move along.

I have had the privilege to ride with a lot of people, whether it be racing or just a bike trail stroll, people either "get it" or they don't.  The "it" is something that no amount of training, miles, wins, or time will be possible to attain.  There is no magic formula, no coaching, and no book will help you find the holy grail.  Just riding your bike helps, but that is not the answer.  The answer is Zen, it lies within. You, the bike, the cycling community. 

What is it that makes us slip on shoe covers, gloves, and long tights to go out and ride in freezing drizzle?  Do you do this because you have to?  Gotta get in the miles, coach said I have to do..., everyone else is doing it, or do we get out there because it is raw?  Man and machine vs Nature.  The base layer of the cycling lifestyle.  Pain.  We want it difficult.  Heck if it were easy everyone would do it, and why would you want to do something everyone else is doing?  That is just stupid.  Cycling is a dare unfulfilled, a self loathing one-up-yourself.  How can you truly feel if you do not know Pain?

I would dare say that most bike riders do not see the "beautiful" side of cycling.  Like I said before there is no map to find your way, but you will know it when you get there.  Cycling is a cold beer at the end of a salt crusted calf cramping town-sprint ride to the parking lot.  It is the nod of the head to a fellow in a different kit on the starting line.  It is the sweaty handshake or the pat on the back of the guy who just piped you at the line.  It is the thanks given for pulling across a titanic gap.  It is...

Got it bad?

I am starting to feel that without the bike I have no life.  When people talk about caffeine they say dependent rather than addicted.  So, using that logic I would say that I am bike dependent.  Addiction is a harsh word, so let's "church it up" and call it something more palatable. You know, that is what we do.  We put a "good face" on everything.  This is what I call the "PC effect" that came about in the late '80s and early '90s.  Let's be a kinder and gentler nation.  A nation of tolerance, that will not tolerate intolerance.  Politically Correct.  I think that Politically Correct sounds like and oxymoron, with heavy emphasis on moron.  I should care about your feelings more than my own.  Really?  But only when it meets a criteria set by the "whiny baby" society.  HTFU.  Being mean and telling the truth live on a fine line that should not be taken lightly, but come on people use your tiny t-rex brains and be real with each other.  Offence is offensive to me.  Free speech is not an open license to be an A-hole, grow some skin and learn to live life without crying foul.  Yeah, some people are just going to be on the wrong side of the "line" and some will never be able to tell the difference.

Yes, I have a little angst built up that needs to be flushed out of the soul.  I've got a fever, a fever for some bike riding.  Give me more bike.  Really people stop being so soft, soft minded and soft bodied.  If this downward spiral continues we will have no ass to kick, it will just be a humongous glob of fleshy waste.  Get out of the house and enjoy, fight for life, Live.

I'm pretty much feeling sorry for myself, because I can't ride my bike.  Boo whaaaa.  There could be like a million things worse out there, and here I am crying a river.  I am bike dependent, my life revolves around riding bikes.  At work I dream of riding my bike.  I see the world as either paved or off-road trails.  Driving around this little corner of the world selling coffee I see lots of places that I would love to ride my road bike, and I also see places that would make for some excellent single track.  I dream that I am riding my bike, and then I watch the clock to see when I will be home to ride my bike.  When you talk to me and it is not about bikes, I am thinking about bikes, or how I can work bikes into the current conversation.

The world for me revolves around bikes.  The Earth does not rotate about its axis, it is propelled by the action of cyclists pushing against it with pedal and crank.  I wear my cycling socks to work.  I drink recovery drinks to help hang-overs or when I am sick.  I check people for tan lines, shaved legs, and road rash scars.  Porn for me is bike catalogs, and pictures from Interbike, thank you highspeed interweb.  I will break my neck looking at every bike that I pass just to see what kind it is, it does not matter if it is a kid or a homeless person riding.

I am bike dependent, admittance is the first step. 

Right?

Screw it.

I am helpless.